I have so many goals, and so many ambitions. I have always been an extremely goal oriented person. I want to graduate from St. A's, I want to go to grad school, and I want to get my phD in clinical psychology. I want to be able to help people struggle through the same things that I have had to struggle with in my lifetime. I cant do that if i dont get my life in order.
I was thinking about this this morning on my ride to school when i was contemplating my days worth of calories (i know exciting huh?) I cant keep on living like this if i want to do something productive with my life. Its just so frustrating because that doesnt seem to be enough for me. I want to do all of these things and i want to enjoy doing them. But how can I if all I can do is starve myself, calculate BMI and count calories. What good is that ever going to do? I know all of this and I want all of those things for myself I just wish it was enough to make me stop... If thats not enough im not sure what is...
hey girl I just came across your blog. I am really glad that you are fighting for recovery and that you have come to realize all the things you can (and will) do without your eating disorder. hang in there!
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ReplyDeleteI COME HOME TOMORROW!!!!!
ReplyDeleteYou are going to be ok, it may seem hard to let go of ed, but it gets easier the more you let go and shine through. Start small and go from there, you are so much more than this ed. The day i became Brittany again was the the very start of the rest of my life. Sure I was scared, but I also new, I was ready to live and I am and Girl, you deserve it, xoxo earthybrit.wordpress.com
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